I didn’t get a chance to post on Day 5. The day ran away from me. I did manage to get through Day 5 fairly easily until dinnertime when I made rice for my husband and my son. That was the only point at which I has an impulse to jump ship. I don’t know what this thing is I have with rice. But I was able to resist the impulse last night. So I made it through Day 5.

This is the morning of Day 6. Hopefully I will get to write a separate post for Day 6.

Yesterday was a fairly good day. I drank tea and water and kept hunger at bay with nut butters (almond and cashew).

In connection with another of my websites I’m on another 30 day mission. This one is a mission to start living  a more fulfilling life. For that project I decided yesterday to try my hand at making a mango coconut dairy-free ice cream. So I spent a bit of my day at that project. It was nice to take a break away from the routine of sitting at my computer managing blogs all day.

For my efforts at making the mango coconut dairy-free ice cream I got to treat myself to a decent tasting frozen dessert. It wasn’t ice cream and there was no coconut to be tasted. It was all mango. It came out more like a smoothie that had been left in the freezer for a bit. I didn’t take a picture of the finished dessert. But I did take pictures of the process. And at the end of the day that’s where the important part of the experience lies. It wasn’t about getting a great picture of my dairy free mango coconut ice cream. It was about taking some time out of my day to do something creative and enjoyable. To spend some quality time with myself.

Some coconut milk that I made from scratch. This tasted great by comparison to the coconut milk I usually buy at the supermarket. It’s interesting how much richer and purer and better these things taste when you make them yourself.

The coconut before I cracked it open and turned it into coconut milk. It didn’t produce much milk. But I did return the pulp to the blender to make a second bottle which I am using today. I had most of it for breakfast with just a little sweetener added.

The second batch of coconut milk. It was a bit watered down. I’d say this watered down version tastes more like the coconut milk I buy at the supermarket.

10:22 AM

Like I said today is actually day 6. So far so good with the solids avoidance. I haven’t had any impulses to battle yet. I will try to write a Day 6 update later in the day. Hopefully I will be able to get some things done.

Wishing everyone a successful Saturday.

So far today I am managing to resist the impulse to say screw it and take a hearty bite out of the first solid thing I can get my hands on. Even so, I am really struggling with this round of solids avoidance. I keep trying to convince myself of why it is a waste of time. I keep asking myself why I’m doing it.

But I have to acknowledge the major difference in how I’m already feeling physically after just 2 complete days and a nearly completed third day. And it’s not just about giving my digestive system a break. The impulse to quit and go eat the leftover rice and peas from the dinner I made for my son and husband yesterday only strikes when I start to feel my stress level rising. Eating because you’re stressed out and your anxiety is high is not a good habit. So I need to fight these impulses for that reason as well.

But seriously, it’s hard to avoid eating solid food, especially when you’re struggling mentally and emotionally, which has been the case for me for a few weeks.

Pineapple ginger bay leaf tea

This was part of my breakfast today. It’s tea made by boiling fresh ginger and bay leaves with fresh pineapple pieces in a pot of water. Along with the tea I had water. I also had kale and spinach blended in a mix of almond milk and coconut milk.

For lunch I had some blended kale and spinach soup which I prepared by cooking a clove of garlic in olive oil in a pan then combining the kale and spinach, cooking that for about 5 minutes, adding some water and salt then blending in the blender.

I prefer to eat food I can chew…

I’ve been doing no solid stints since 2012 and it hasn’t gotten easier to get through them. It seems to get harder to start them and more difficult to stick them out. I would love to get things under control to where I don’t have to keep doing this. And I feel like I’m close to figuring things out. I’m close to figuring out a diet that enables me to still have a life, even a fashionable life, while living with fibroids.

I don’t think the same things will work for everybody. I’ve spent the last 5 years trying everything I’ve come across that purports to be a method for shrinking fibroids. At the end of the day, what has consistently worked for me has been avoiding solid food for long enough stretches to give my stomach a chance to clear itself out. It hasn’t shrunken the fibroids, but it has significantly shrunken my stomach which makes it look as if the fibroids have been shrunken.

The part with which I’m still struggling is keeping things up after the solids avoidance. But this time around I think I’ve managed better than ever before. And I didn’t have to not eat to keep up the results.

I was eating solid food following the 30-day fast I completed back in February. I probably had more days on solids than off between April and May. And I was fine for most of that period. Because the only solids I was eating included kale in various forms (raw and seasoned, crisped in the oven), the chia seeds made into a pudding or blended with almonds in coconut or almond milk, almond nuts, occasional cashew nuts. I was also fine with an occasional bread-less cucumber avocado sandwich, plantain, salmon, cod fish, rice and beans. It’s only when I started adding back things like crackers and bread, a granola bar here and there that I started feeling like I was suffering a setback. So I think what I’m realizing is that, for me at any rate, flour-based products (gluten free or not) have to be completely eliminated from my diet. Or maybe not completely, but certainly they have to be treated like indulgences. Maybe twice per month I can have a treat day.

Looks like I’ll make it through Day 2 of my solids free June mission. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve been having all kinds of cravings. My weirdest craving today was for cinnamon. But I’m thinking I can probably still have cinnamon without compromising the mission. Problem is the hubby is starting to think I’m addicted to cinnamon and so he doesn’t want me to buy any. (I’m not addicted to cinnamon. But I did finish off 2 bottles of ground cinnamon in 1 month. And I mostly just ate it by itself sprinkled on nothing.)

I haven’t really eaten much today. I’ve been out and about most of the day accompanying my son on some errands. I blended a little bit of almond butter and a piece of aloe in almond milk for breakfast. For the rest of the day I’ve been eating nut butters to stave off hunger, and I’ve been drinking water.

I didn’t have the kale and spinach soup for dinner last night. I am hoping to have it for dinner tonight. But if I don’t feel particularly hungry for the rest of the day I’ll probably just skip having anything else to eat.

Why am I attempting another 30 days of not eating solid foods again?

I’ve asked myself this question a few times today. Sometimes I forget what this is all about. Whenever I have a craving for solid food it becomes less clear to me why it’s necessary to go another round of 7 days much less the 30 days I’m attempting. But I have to remember that I am a much happier person when I feel physically comfortable. And although I’ll always have some physical discomfort as long as I have fibroids of a prominent size, it is possible for me to be more physically comfortable than I feel at present. And that requires the avoidance of solid foods for as long a stretch as I can manage. And it’s worth it to me because every aspect of my life improves when I feel a little closer to my pre-fibroid norm.

Cut to 9:17PM

Having said the above about how the avoidance of solid food is worth it, I made rice with red beans for dinner for my husband and son. There are very few foods that I have difficulty resisting. There are probably no foods that I can claim to “love”; but there are some foods that are hard for me not to eat if those foods are available for me to eat. Rice by itself is one. Rice with red beans is even more difficult to resist than rice by itself.

So I was again questioning why I’m doing this thing. And although I resisted temptation to try a spoonful of the rice, I’m not at this very moment convinced that it really is worth it to put myself through this torture depriving myself of the pleasure of eating the foods I would like to eat.

I have made it to the middle of the afternoon; but I won’t pretend it’s been easy.

My breakfast did keep me till around 1PM. Protein is amazing. My lunch on the other hand had very little protein. I consumed it around 1 – 1:30PM. It is just after 4PM right now. I am managing but I definitely feel hungry.

The key to successfully avoiding eating solid food for me is that I cannot have moments of feeling hunger. It’s hard enough to deal with the tricks my mind plays on me throughout the day. I can’t be hungry on top of being stressed out and low on emotional energy. That’s the main reason it’s proving to be such a struggle on day 1. I’m sleepy. My emotions are unstable. My mind is unstable. And I feel hungry. So the combination is making day 1 a little difficult.

Papaya pineapple avocado cucumber blended in almond milk

My lunch was a blend of papaya, pineapple, avocado and cucumber. I blended them in almond milk. It was by no means a yummy drink. But it was tolerable enough that I was able to get it down.

As far as nutrients go, I was able to get a little dietary fiber, Vitamin B-6, Vitamin C, Magnesium, Iron, Calcium, Vitamin A and potassium out of the papaya. Not as much as in 1 serving as I did not use an amount equal to 1 serving.

From the pineapple I was able to get a little protein, some additional units of Vitamin C, Vitamin A, Iron, Calcium, Vitamin B-6, Magnesium, dietary fiber, potassium. Again, the amount wasn’t great because of the portion size of pineapple used.

The avocado provided more of the same.

Cucumber seems to have pretty much nothing in it.

Difficult though it is proving, I think I should manage to successfully complete day 1. And that can be hard sometimes just to get 1 day successfully completed. I’m not sure what I’ll do for dinner. Probably a blended kale and spinach soup.

I have to be completely honest. I have no idea how I’m going to get this thing done. Here it is day 1 of my “Solids free June” attempt and I am already struggling. My mind is all over the place. I’m having stress cravings. It’s only 7:30 in the morning. My plan is to get up and do half an hour of meditating at 8:30. Until 9 o’clock I’ll allow myself only water. This is going to be hard.

Cut to 10:01 AM

I’m feeling much better than I was feeling at 7:30. I managed to put in a half hour of stretching and meditation. And I had some almond butter blended in almond milk for breakfast. Hopefully it will keep me until noon. I’m not having any hunger pangs or cravings right now. I have a bit more energy to work with and I’m feeling a lot more positive than I was feeling earlier.

So why am I attempting another 30 day no solids stint?

I think that I was in a much better place than I’ve been since 2007 after I completed the 30 days off solids back in February. Even though I said in my last post that my stomach is not in the best condition right this very minute due to my veering away from my restricted diet for a few weeks, I’m still in a pretty good place. I’m still reaping the benefits from avoiding solid foods for 30 days in February and going all March and April and some of May on a strict diet of nuts, chia seeds, nut butter (cashew, almond, peanut), coconut milk, kale, coconut water, cinnamon, tea (ginger, turmeric, yarrow). I might be forgetting one or two things; but that’s been mostly what I’ve been eating since February.

I have had the occasional salmon and cod fish, avocado, cucumber. And there was the quinoa pudding phase until my stomach began to react badly to it. But those were not being consumed daily and there were no setbacks to my system. So I’ve had a pretty long stretch of being able to control the situation to where I haven’t had the embarrassment of an enormous stomach to deal with. Or more importantly any health scares that have sent me to the emergency room.

But a few weeks ago I gave in to a craving for some bread. I was at the grocery store and I came upon a gluten free aisle. I got excited to see gluten free bread on the shelf. I admit I love bread; but I had decided to try as much as possible to avoid gluten. So I haven’t been eating bread for some time now. Even so, I’ve been having bread cravings. The hubby still brings bread into the house and I struggle to avoid eating it. So I was thrilled to discover the gluten free aisle. I spent the $6.99 on a half-pack of gluten free multi-grain bread. And that was the beginning of a stretch of two weeks eating foods that my stomach clearly cannot tolerate.

So I am right now dealing with the drawbacks of re-introducing flour based foods into my diet. I’m bloated. My digestive processing has slowed down and things are not being removed at the rate that they should. As a result I am feeling heavy in the sense of being weighed down. I’m feeling sluggish. I’m not sleeping well. My emotional energy is low. I’m having to fight to stay motivated to keep up doing the things I need to do every day.

So I want to try to do another stretch of going 30 days without eating solid food. I feel like I need to clear out my system again and then resume the avoidance of flour based foods, meats (not including the occasional fish) and dairy products. I haven’t slipped up on the dairy avoidance per se. I did sneak a spoonful of my husband’s ice cream on a couple of occasions. And I did have some goat cheese with an avocado cucumber sandwich, also on a couple of occasions. But that’s as much dairy as I’ve consumed since December 2014.

All in all I have to say, changing my diet has allowed me get back some semblance of control over my life from these fibroids. I’m not using any special treatments such as apple cider vinegar and blackstrap molasses. I’m not taking any DIM supplements or trying out any of the myriad fibroid shrinking remedies that seem exist. Who knows, maybe using some of these in addition to the diet change would make the situation even better. But I am happy with where things are. And I think with a reset I’ll be in an even better place. Because my setback is pretty minor right now. So if I can make it to 30 days off solids my results should be even better than they were in February.

I’ll do my best to chart my progress in case anyone might be interested. I can’t promise to do an update everyday; but I’ll try.

One of the consequences of trying not to focus attention on my fibroids is that I don’t remember to update this blog.

The condition of my fibroids today is manageable. It’s that time of the month so the stomach is expanded a bit. But I am still able to button a skirt at my waist. It did take a bit more effort today to get the skirt buttoned, but I won’t complain. What’s there to complain about? I might not have everything I want in life; but I do have everything I need to live.

Life goes on and so do I.

I continue to stick to a restricted diet. From time to time I do cheat, I have to admit.  I’ve had some rice and beans and some chicken on a couple of occasions. But never a full meal comprised of these things. And if I’m out of nuts and I feel an impulse to eat something I might have some of my husband’s crackers. And I’m sure there are other things I’ve sampled that I can’t remember right now.

I do think that flour based products, whether gluten free or not gluten free are a bad idea for me–particularly products that come in boxes and sealed packs like crackers. I think I need to stick to things I make at home myself. But I suspect even home-baked foods will have an adverse effect on my digestion system and by extension on my fibroids. I know (for myself at any rate) crackers, breads,  cakes (even non-dairy and gluten free) and that type of food are to be avoided. As for the rice and beans, I don’t think that has been necessarily harmful. I haven’t had it often enough or in large enough quantities for it to be a problem. I think I can allow myself a handful of days in the month where I’m not as strict with the diet. As long as I don’t go overboard and set myself back.

Currently my new regular diet consists mainly of chia seeds, kale and almonds (sometimes cashews instead of almonds). I try to find different ways I can use these three foods. I blend the chia seeds with coconut milk, ground almonds or cashews and cinnamon. If I have no almonds or cashews I might sometimes use peanut butter or just stick with the chia seeds and cinnamon. I add more milk and blend on liquify to make it a drink. To make it into a pudding I add less milk and blend on puree.

The kale I eat raw with some salt and olive oil. Sometimes I’ll put it in the oven for 20 minutes. I’ve also been trying it raw on cucumber with avocado; but that’s a relatively new experiment. I still blend it to make a drink but mostly just with water to kickstart the morning. It’s not yummy (kale blended with just water) but I find that gives a much stronger and more immediate energy boost than when I’ve blended it with other things.

I recently tried adding flax seed meal to the diet but I’ve decided to leave that out. It adds nothing when all is said and done, and I don’t like the taste.

I’m looking for ways that I can expand the diet without setting myself back to square one. It’s a tough thing to keep up a lifestyle that is based on restriction. So I want to get to where it doesn’t feel like restriction. I don’t want to be focused on what I cannot eat; but on how I can eat well (and be satisfied) within the limits of my available food options. So far it’s not so bad. The chia seeds and nuts concoctions and the kale are sustaining me quite well. I just need to come up with some safe gap fillers so that I never have to resort to eating crackers when I’m struck by an impulse to snack.

That is basically where I am right now. Trying to manage my fibroids with diet and exercise.