My Fibroids Today – Thursday June 19 2014

It is Thursday Morning, June 19th. I had originally made a mistake in my title and put Thursday June 19 3014. Wonder who I will be and what I will be doing in 3014. June 19th 3014 will fall on a Sunday according to the website print-a-calendar.com. It will be Father’s Day and the date is 365242 days away. As you can see it is an idle morning for me. I can hear birds chirping outside. I can also hear an incessant buzzing from some man-made device.

These past few weeks have been difficult. A variety of not so pleasant things happened; but things seem to be settling down for now. The 7 day no solids fast I was on when I last updated ended in the middle of day 4. I have since started over two times. One ended the morning of Day 3 and the other ended the morning of Day 2. I am on Day 1 of another attempt. As far as the fibroids go they are still very prominent. I still look pregnant but the hubby swears my stomach went down a lot after the first 3.5 day no solids fast. I think my stomach might have gone down a little bit but nothing to get happy about.

I’ll be honest, my struggle right now with seeing a fast through to the end has everything to do with being depressed and figuring there’s no point to anything so I might as well eat because eating is the only thing in my life that at least leaves me with a momentary feeling of satisfaction. So I have been talking myself into ending the fasts instead of talking myself out of it; and I don’t really know how this next attempt will work out because I don’t really have anything working with upstairs in the way of interest or motivation. I have not been feeling inspired these days, or maybe it would be more accurate to say I have been up and down because I’ve had a handful of inspired days thrown into the mix.

On those handful of inspired days I designed my own fabric and paid $35 to get the design printed on two yards of basic combed cotton which I used to make myself a skirt/dress (never again will I use basic combed cotton to make clothes). I did some pretend modeling sessions for my fashion blog, attempted to make myself some clay jewelry, did some pretend-ballerina dancing, did some writing, baked bread. I even managed to get some vacuuming done and even though that might hardly sound like an accomplishment for people who do it regularly, it’s a major accomplishment when I get the place vacuumed. It’s a good sign.

Now that I’ve written all of that I’m thinking to myself that I don’t need to be dwelling on what I haven’t done and on time I didn’t spend well. I should be dwelling on what I have done and time I did spend well. I should be reminding myself that there are plenty of ways that I can be enhancing my life and filling my days. I keep dwelling on things that I can’t change today or tomorrow or next week or even next month or possibly even next year. Meanwhile there are little things that I can do every day to enrich myself and to enrich my life.

Here’s a picture of the fabric I designed and got printed on basic combed cotton for $35.

I created the zebra print design and got it printed onto cloth intending to make a skirt dress. I have to say that basic combed cotton is not a good material for clothing as I have discovered but you live to learn. It was the cheapest of the available material and so I had to go with it. I made my skirt. I had to make it by hand because I do not have a sewing machine, so the quality isn’t up to being worn outdoors; but I did have some fun posing in the finished skirt.

Here’s a picture of me wearing the skirt as a skirt. The outfit didn’t look good in the front with my big fibroid belly so I’m only sharing a picture of the back. As cheap and homemade as my skirt looks it has served its purpose so far. I’ve worn it around the house as a skirt dress a few times and while the material is a little rough, it has kept me nice and comfy as far as my fibroid belly goes.

And here’s one of me wearing it as a sashed dress with a blazer

I hope to be able to get a few more yards of this design printed on a nicer fabric. Maybe by then I’ll have a sewing machine and know how to use it.