There’s a large fibroid that’s sitting right under my right breast at the moment. It’s very uncomfortable. It makes it difficult to sit. I’ve had a problem with what I assume to be the same fibroid doing the same thing before only it was more under my left breast. But I was able to get it under control and keep it under control for over a year.
The fibroids have been a huge problem for the last week or two. They’ve been affecting my ability to sleep. I haven’t been keeping track of things lately so it’s hard to say what’s different. I could barely manage to shift in bed the other night. I could feel them move around every time I shifted and it felt like they wanted to tangle themselves around something in there.
Until today I haven’t had a single day off solids for the month. So far today I’ve managed to avoid eating anything solid. I can’t imagine anything that would cause me to fail to avoid solids for the rest of today. I feel pretty much in control of myself at the moment; but this is the first in weeks that I’ve felt in control of myself.
I think the last several weeks was the first in a long time that I failed to balance things with my consumption of solid food for so many days in a row. So there could be something to make note of in that. The situation with my fibroids has not been this bad in 2 years; and I myself have not had such a difficult time staying on track with my goals in as long (that I can remember). It seems like I’ve been struggling since about July. I’ve had moments of feeling motivated and I’ve been able to use those moments to undo any damage done during the bad spells; but September has been pretty bad throughout and I don’t think I’ve had any spells of motivation that lasted more than a day. And even those didn’t last all day.
But I guess what’s important isn’t yesterday and what I did or did not do. It’s right now. And today has been good so I’m grateful for that. My stomach is huge and I’m extremely uncomfortable physically, but mentally I’m not in as bad a place. And I think my mental state is the key to everything. If I can maintain the focus from today over the next few weeks I should be able to get myself back on track to where I’m not having trouble sitting because of my fibroids.
