Today I was googling the term “fibroids look like babies” because in a way some do look like fetuses to me and I have wondered if there could be any connection between growing fibroids and failing to get pregnant over many years…if something happens with your eggs and your uterus anyway that creates fibroids. Yeah I know that’s a pretty stupid thought. Still, I wonder if there’s any possibility that fibroids represent babies that were supposed to happen but never did.
Anyway, I was checking google to see if anyone else is as crazy as I am to have thought that fibroids kind of look like babies; and I came upon a link to a page where someone was writing in to describe her experience with moving fibroids. I clicked on it because it’s something I experience. I have a fibroid that moves. Apparently these types of fibroids are called pedunculated fibroids. They hang from a stalk and can be either subserous pedunculated fibroids meaning they grow outside the uterus, or they can be pedunculated submucosal fibroids meaning they grow inside the uterus (you might want to look that up for yourself in case I have it mixed up).
I believe at least 2 of my fibroids can be classified as pedunculated. I have one that moves about sometimes when I lie down on my back; and I have another one that I can distinctly feel the shape of and see pushing against my skin, again while lying down on my back. I’m going to assume that the one I can grab and see pushing out my skin is a subserous pedunculated fibroid. I think the one that moves, a giant sucker of a fibroid could also be subserous but it’s harder to tell. Then again, it’s possible a fibroid doesn’t necessarily have to grown on a stalk to shift around when you lie down so maybe I don’t have any pedunculated fibroids; but I definitely have at least 1 subserous fibroid and I don’t need an ultrasound to verify that on my behalf.
I know you’re thinking that instead of trying to guess what type of fibroids I have after reading stuff on the Internet I should go to a doctor and get the facts, but you know what, I have accomplished far more for myself on my own than any doctors were willing or able to help me accomplish as far as finding ways to treat my condition. All doctors tell you is “Your situation is emergent. You must have a hysterectomy immediately.” Then they tell you to go and find the means to get this hysterectomy. Come back with ten thousand dollars in your pocket or find a health care company or organization that will pay the ten thousand dollars on your behalf. Once you have the money they’ll try to help; otherwise sorry but there’s nothing they can do other than tell you that you’re facing a serious health crisis and if you don’t get your uterus taken out soon you could very well hemorrhage and die.
It’s been more than 2 years since I was told pretty much what I’ve just written above, that my fibroids had grown to a dangerously large size and my uterus needed to be removed right away. I still have my uterus. Yes I still have fibroids; but my condition has improved significantly and this has been entirely without any doctor’s help.
In some places people don’t have any access whatsoever to doctors. Do they just lay down and die when struck with an ailment? No. They try to find ways to cure themselves. Sometimes they succeed and sometimes they don’t. I still don’t have health insurance and I am still too poor to afford to pay out of pocket for doctors visits; so I haven’t been back to the doctor; but I am well enough in touch with my body and with my mind to know that I am in a much healthier place today than I was 2 years ago and what I’ve accomplished has been accomplished without any doctor’s guidance.
So yeah, I feel I know my own fibroids better than any doctor and for sure I have a fibroid that grows outside of my uterus and I have a fibroid that moves, or it’s probably more accurate to say that it gets displaced depending upon my own movements. These two are not the only fibroids I have. I did get an ultrasound at one point and I believe I had 3 or 4 then. I can’t quite recall. It could be that I have more by now; but there are definitely 3 large ones that I can outline with my fingers. Two I can’t say whether they are on the outside or inside even though I can feel them. I don’t have the ability to actually grab them like I do with the third one that I’m sure is on the outside.
Will I ever completely get rid of my fibroids? I’m inclined to think “no” is the answer to that question. Unless of course I get that hysterectomy; but I know their damaging impact on the mind and body can be controlled because I live the fact. Pedunculated or not pedunculated, fibroids are ugly things that feed on your weaknesses of mind and body. My goal is to starve them out by working to achieve and maintain mental, emotional and physical balance. I’m not there yet. It’s a hard journey but I’m still trekking along.