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Life goes on and so do I…

Yesterday before I saw the results of my CT scan, I setup my camera in my bedroom and took some pictures with the intention of making an effort to start developing the style and fashion section of this blog. Because I wanted to share some of the things I’ve discovered over the last year or so while I’ve been busy working as creative director and editor-in-chief of a fashion website (yes it’s mine so the titles are vanity; but hey, it’s my prerogative right?).

monica thursday morning january 21 2016
monica thursday morning january 21 2016

I’m not into fashion per se. I’m not a great dresser. I don’t have a lot of clothes. I’m not particularly “into” clothes and shoes and these things. So my goal isn’t to try to give style and fashion advice. I’m not qualified. But one of the most difficult parts of living with large fibroids that cause the stomach to protrude to the size of a 5 month or higher pregnancy, has been finding a way to dress that doesn’t emphasize my stomach and make me feel self conscious.

One of the things that I’ve figured out this past year is that it’s not really necessary to dress as if I’m pregnant. In fact dressing the way a pregnant lady might dress only emphasizes my stomach. For a while I was thinking I had to try to hide my stomach under flowy clothing and that I couldn’t wear small tops or anything fitted.

I’ve since discovered that even when my stomach is it’s largest, I can still wear my regular clothes.

monica thursday morning january 21 2016 2
monica thursday morning january 21 2016

I can wear skirts that button at my waist. Skirts that flare and have a bit of a pouf to them are the best (speaking for myself). And I don’t need to buy size XL tops. In fact the XL top makes me look more pregnant than the small top. It’s just a matter of layering and balancing in a way that takes the focus off your center while at the same time minimizing the bulge. There are pictures I have taken where a person might not guess what my stomach looks like in reality. Sometimes I even fool myself; but then I see other pictures that I took on the same day where you can see that I look very much pregnant.

monica thursday morning January 21 2016 white shirt black skirt
monica thursday morning January 21 2016 white shirt black skirt

So I’m learning that I can look less pregnant by not dressing as if I’m pregnant; and with the right combination I can still look stylish. Maybe these outfits I’m modeling aren’t great examples of stylish dressing; but I do the best I can with what I’ve got. The point is: I am discovering that I’m not without options after all. Having a stomach doesn’t limit me to maternity style clothing.

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My name is Monica. I have fibroids. My fibroids are large enough that they have transformed my figure into something I am still trying to learn how to live with. In the meantime while I try to learn how to live with my fibroids I am also trying every possible method I can find to try to shrink them naturally because I am afraid of the idea of a hysterectomy. I lived with fibroids from 2007 - 2016. I started documenting my experiences on this blog in 2012. On March 7th 2016 I had a hysterectomy out of concern that I might have ovarian cancer. It did not turn out that I had ovarian cancer. The cancer scare forced the hysterectomy I was trying to avoid, and so, I became fibroid free as of March 7th 2016. I will try to keep this blog up and running in the hope that it will be of some use to others going through what I went through.

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