It has been a while since I have written an update on my status. It is difficult to say exactly what’s been going on because I haven’t been able to figure it out myself. I simply became disconnected from everything. And I’ve been shut down mentally and emotionally for several weeks.

The status of my fibroids

In my last few posts I mentioned that I was drinking a tonic (apple cider vinegar + blackstrap molasses + pomegranate juice) and I was also eating pomegranates hoping to see some shrinking of my fibroids. I was able to keep up with the tonic and the pomegranates for 60 days. I’ve continued to drink the so-called tonic and eat an occasional pomegranate past the 60 day period; but I am no longer using them daily. Not for any other reason that than I sometimes forget. But my goal was to try it for 60 days. And I did do it for 60 days straight. My honest feedback on how it worked is that it did not really have any remarkable impact on reducing the size of my fibroids. I do believe it helped insofar as it boosted my energy and helped me push through on nights when I didn’t feel like working out. It might also have helped me sleep through a night or two when I’ve taken it after working out and just before my bath. I believe it is something I can keep consuming (maybe not daily) because it helps in my effort to build a stronger body. I do believe that it has contributed to my overall feeling of being stronger, particularly at the core. It helps to strengthen me physically. But I don’t think that my tonic has done anything by itself to shrink my fibroids. I also do not think the pomegranates did anything noticeable in that regard. But I’ll continue to include them as a food choice.

Revisiting the hysterectomy question

Even while I have had mostly good days where my stomach has felt strong, the fibroids have remained pretty much the same size. And I’ve had an increase in symptoms. The most worrisome of these led me to go to the emergency room yesterday. I started a 2nd period 11 days after the end of my first period which itself was about a week late (no I was not pregnant). I had signs of bleeding for 3 days and then on the 4th day I had such heavy and ugly bleeding that I feared it might be more than just a period. So at 2 o’clock in the morning I decided to go the emergency room just to be safe.

The doctor concluded that the fibroids were the cause of the bleeding. He said that I was fine; but my fibroids were massive and he strongly recommended a hysterectomy. He did not suggest that anything fatal would occur if I did not have a hysterectomy; but he did say that his recommendation was that I go through with the surgery and do it very soon–next week if possible.

So I am trying to figure out if I should have a hysterectomy

We know that there are no benefits to having fibroids. When mine are at their worst I quite honestly fear for my life. I swear they push my other organs around and I can sometimes feel part of my intestines. I could be wrong about what I think I’m feeling; but there are times when something moves and shifts and ends up placed around my rib area. And I can press it with my fingers and it has the shape of a sausage. So I figure it must be part of some one of my organs that have a sausage shape. And I don’t think I should be able to feel it that way. Things can get pretty scary when my fibroids are their most massive.

But they aren’t always as massive as they sometimes get. And when they aren’t at their most massive they don’t cause me any real problems. They’re just a nuisance because I have to walk around with an enlarged belly when I would prefer to still have the flat stomach I had before I developed fibroids. But lots of women don’t have a flat stomach and not all of them make such a big deal about it and treat it like it’s the biggest crisis in their lives.

I don’t really want to be some vapid woman at this point in my life. I want to celebrate myself rather than obsess about myself and how I look or don’t look. I want to look and feel my best, but I don’t want looking and feeling my best to hinge on such considerations as whether or not my stomach is flat. I can live with not having a flat stomach. But I can’t live with having a stomach that is so large I can barely carry it around. And I can’t live with the toll it takes on me mentally and emotionally.

A hysterectomy is the sensible rational choice

I know that getting a hysterectomy is the rational choice. It’s the sensible thing to do. Fibroids are tumors that have invaded my body. They don’t belong in my body and surgery is the only real way to get them out. Every other way, especially these natural attempts at shrinking them, allow them to continue to exist inside my body even if they do manage to shrink. But the fact is they do not belong inside my body. I am not healthy on the inside if I have these fibroids thriving inside me. The functioning of my entire system is impaired by having these fibroids. My life is completely out of order. I am not and have not been myself in over 7 years. I am at a point in my life where I feel like I need to get the most I can get out of what’s left of my life; and I can’t do that if the fibroids are compromising my physical health as well as my mental and emotional well-being.