Moments in time Sunday September 14th 2014

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    monica dancing Sunday Morning September 14th 2014 6_Painting

    I woke up around 4:37AM today. Most of my morning was spent recording myself interpreting music through dance. monica dancing Sunday Morning September 14th 2014 2_Painting

    I’m sure it’s obvious by now that I love to dance. And I’ve probably already said in multiple posts that I am not a ‘real’ dancer. I’ve been a pretend dancer since I was about thirteen. What I mean by that is I’ve been practicing dance since that age but I’ve never had official dance lessons. I’ve probably also told the story about the time when I was in high school and a real dancer confronted me because she suspected I was lying about being a dancer. She asked me how many pirouettes I could do. It just so happened that the World Book Encyclopedia had not included pirouettes among the ballet terms in the section I was using as a resource to teach myself ballet. I had no idea what pirouettes were but I figured a high number would be more impressive than a low number. So I said I could do 100 of them. The girl just gave me a disgusted look and walked off. I understood why when I went home and looked up the term pirouette.

    monica dancing Sunday Morning September 14th 2014 4_Painting

    The last time I checked the record for the most pirouettes stood at 40. I can do 1 very graceful and controlled pirouette. Sometimes I manage two but never gracefully and vertigo always kicks in.

    There are many things I have wanted to be in my life. And when you really think about it, I am doing everything I have ever wanted to do pretty much every day even if I may not have become any of the things I wanted to become. I love to interpret music through dance and so I interpret music through dance. I don’t just sit and watch other people dance while feeling sorry for myself wishing I had been able to get dance lessons when I was younger.

    monica dancing Sunday Morning September 14th 2014 12_Painting

    I guess when all is said and done it was never really about “being a dancer” for me. It was about dancing. I just wanted to express myself. I didn’t really need to know names for dance moves and the proper technique for executing those moves. I didn’t care about such things as being able to say I could do more pirouettes than someone else. I just wanted to dance.

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    My name is Monica. I have fibroids. My fibroids are large enough that they have transformed my figure into something I am still trying to learn how to live with. In the meantime while I try to learn how to live with my fibroids I am also trying every possible method I can find to try to shrink them naturally because I am afraid of the idea of a hysterectomy. I lived with fibroids from 2007 - 2016. I started documenting my experiences on this blog in 2012. On March 7th 2016 I had a hysterectomy out of concern that I might have ovarian cancer. It did not turn out that I had ovarian cancer. The cancer scare forced the hysterectomy I was trying to avoid, and so, I became fibroid free as of March 7th 2016. I will try to keep this blog up and running in the hope that it will be of some use to others going through what I went through.

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