Home Journal A letter to myself March 29 2014

A letter to myself March 29 2014

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Dear Monica, why are you sad? You don’t have any reason to be sad. Right now, at this moment everything is okay; and that is really all that matters–right now at this moment. Be thankful. Smile. This urge to cry–what is that? Smile. Life is beautiful, Life is wonderful. Everything is okay. Breathe.

Now, stay in your calm place and listen to me. You can’t keep going around getting upset about things that people do when they’re doing the opposite of what you’d like to see them do. Everybody’s got their own stuff to get through and you have no right to demand that people go through their stuff in a way that’s more convenient for you and easier for you to deal with. It’s not for people to adjust themselves and adjust their lives out of consideration for you. You need to let people be who they are and live their lives however they choose to live their lives; and if you are going to choose to remain part of their life then it’s on you to learn how to deal with the stuff they do that you don’t like. You can’t control how other people are going to act and react; and you have to stop trying to do that. Work on yourself instead. Learn to control your emotions. Work on getting rid of your unreasonable expectation that the people in your life will always be in control of their emotions and always be in a mood that does not threaten your comfort. Learn to deal with the fact that you can’t control anyone other than yourself. And keep reminding yourself that people have to go through their stuff just like you have to go through your stuff. It will help you to stop acting as if everything is about you. Not everything is about you. Learn the difference so you can stop adding to other people’s burdens by getting in their face and demanding consideration of your feelings at times when you need to be the one considering theirs.

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My name is Monica. I have fibroids. My fibroids are large enough that they have transformed my figure into something I am still trying to learn how to live with. In the meantime while I try to learn how to live with my fibroids I am also trying every possible method I can find to try to shrink them naturally because I am afraid of the idea of a hysterectomy. I lived with fibroids from 2007 - 2016. I started documenting my experiences on this blog in 2012. On March 7th 2016 I had a hysterectomy out of concern that I might have ovarian cancer. It did not turn out that I had ovarian cancer. The cancer scare forced the hysterectomy I was trying to avoid, and so, I became fibroid free as of March 7th 2016. I will try to keep this blog up and running in the hope that it will be of some use to others going through what I went through.

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