Dear Monica, it doesn’t matter.
You don’t need anyone’s approval. You don’t need anyone’s permission to “be”. You are. So just be. And let go of this nonsense fear of what people may or may not be thinking. If people think you’re stupid and pathetic that’s what they think. You can’t control what people think. You can only control how you allow it to affect you–what you allow it to make you think of yourself and how you allow it to make you feel about yourself.
Be proud of yourself. Recognize how strong you are. Thank yourself for what you have done because it’s no small feat the way you have held yourself together through all your life’s struggles. It’s okay, Monica. Allow yourself to be.
Morning has broken
It’s been so many years. Wow. I have been alive a long time. There was a time in my life when the song “Morning has broken” was something that was regularly sung. Whether it was sung at school during morning worship, sung at church or sung at home just idly singing church songs. I can’t even remember that girl. I think she must have liked singing; but she was so shy she probably never sang out very loudly or showed any enthusiasm while singing.
And how amazing is the mind? You have memories you don’t know you have and then you wake up one morning and you remember a song you haven’t heard in years and you still remember how to sing it — you remember the tune and you remember the words. I just googled “Morning has Broken” and I watched this video from 1973 and all I’m thinking, “You know what Monica, you are going to die one day and it may be sooner than later. Regardless if it’s soon or later, it is a fact. Your life is going to end. So in the meantime, just live and stop with the regrets. Because nothing really matters.”